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Father’s Day Special!

Since this is the month of June and we are all waiting eagerly to celebrate Father’s Day, I will try to include more Daddy-related articles this month.

The feeling of baby is so real to a pregnant woman. Being pregnant, we feel the weight of the baby, her movements, his butterfly kicks, heartburns, etc. But for the Dads it is very difficult to develop a bond with the baby until they see it for real. (Dads if you are reading this blog and feel this is untrue please feel free to share your experience). Some might infact find it intimidating to love the baby in mother’s belly because they see what changes it is doing to the human being they love the most. It is a natural instinct and to help them through this process I feel Dads should be involved in the whole pregnancy process from the get go. If they have the time from their busy work schedule, they should be encouraged to attend Doctor appointments so they get to hear the heartbeat of the baby or see the baby move in the ultrasound appointments.They should be encouraged to touch your belly and talk/sing/read to the baby in the belly as it will help them set a routine of spending time with you and baby and eventually a very special bond between the Daddy and baby will be developed.

Hope this small piece of advice helps new moms and dads develop a special bond with their baby that will remain strong forever in the future!

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Gender Determination – TO DO OR NOT TO DO?

As soon as you are pregnant the thought of whether you are having a boy or a girl simply clings to your mind and stays till that baby is delivered and you actually “see” the gender! Well with modern ultrasound technology we do have a choice of knowing the sex of the baby as early as 7-8 weeks but quite surely at 12-15 weeks and ahead. The 3D/4D ultrasound also lets you kind of see what the baby is actually going to look like (features, etc).

While the doctor may say that they can be only 98% sure of the gender in most cases they are fairly accurate. (No one in the profession will ever admit to it and please dont take my word for it. I am not a doctor!

This personal decision of knowing the gender of the foetus remains in the hands of the mother and the father. While it is a personal choice for each couple, I quite liked the idea of of knowing that my baby was going to be a boy in advance. In fact I was so surprised that we could actually plan everything in the future around knowing the gender like the theme for the baby shower, the nursery, the names, clothes, other accessories like toys, bedding, burp cloths, boppy pillows, sippy cup bottles, strollers, carseats, shoes, socks,  in the correct color , style, etc.  What a relief in a country where boys and girls are so divided into blue and pink. Well there are some neutral colors you can pick from like yellow, orange , green but knowing the gender just sounded right in my head at that time. 

When I say I think it is awesome to know the gender is only because I live in the freedom loving United States of America. If I was living in India or China, I would probably be opposed to the whole idea. In my native country India, gender determination is illegal as it may lead to female foeticides and infanticides.

Long time ago I read a book about Lost Daughters of China by Karin Evans and the sorry state of girl babies being left at orphanage door steps brought tears to my eyes for days on end. If you are a part of a family that is going to frown upon a baby of whatever gender , it is better to delay knowing the gender or declaring the gender so you do not have to bear the pressure of their disappointment throughout your pregnancy. Even better is to avoid such people in your life and maintain a more positive environment around you. 

Keep in mind, be it a boy or a girl, the main aim of a parent is most certainly and in most cases the health of the mother and the baby. Everything else is secondary. Your child be it first, second, a boy or a girl, is ultimately your child. And you will love him/her and take care of him/her no matter what. And if anyone else tells you anything else even if it is your closest relative like your husband or your mother or your inlaws or your best friends, just know that they are wrong!

With that said, I would like to know if my readers found out their babies’ gender before they were born? If yes why? and If not, then why not?